IF
YOU WANT TO BE READ, THINK BEYOND RED
BY
KEN CHARLES
Over the years, I’ve written a lot of
corporal punishment (CP) stories. I’ve read a lot more, some good to excellent,
others poor to virtually unreadable. On balance, more of the stories lean
towards the poor end. Why? The answer is
that some CP authors fail to give their stories the respect the story deserves.
The fundamentals of a CP story are no different than any other tale. Whether
the author is writing a flash fiction or a novella, s/he still needs to set a
proper scene, and ensure that the reader becomes emotionally invested in the
characters.
THE
WHY
Whether a story opens with the penitent
laying already bare bottomed over someone’s lap, or even standing in a corner
sobbing and rubbing a well marked tush, the reasons for CP scene have to grab
the reader’s interest. The reasons may be set out explicitly in the story.
“Mary swore as she noticed the flashing lights approaching rapidly in the rear
view mirror. Bill was very clear about the consequences of a third speeding
ticket in less than six months.” The reasons may be set out in indirect action
(action that occurs “off stage”). “Bill doubled up the belt, and drew his arm
back. He paused, unsure whether this was the right thing to do. However, he had
warned Mary about what she should expect if she got another ticket before the
end of the year. It was for her own good. He snapped the belt forward with
alacrity.” Either way, the reader understands the reason why Mary is to receive
a strapping. The underlying reason can be anything the author wants from
punishment to role play to sex games. All that matters is that the reader
accept the inevitability the CP scene, and that it flows as a natural result of
the underlying reason.
My very first CP story was one of the best
I ever wrote, “The Walnut Hairbrush", a CP ghost story. After being stood
up on a first date, I went home intending to write a “Whack. Ow!" story to
blow off steam. Much to my surprise, the story developed a plot. The American
heroine flies to London where she discovers that she has an ancestral debt to
pay for the accidental death of a young girl that can only be fulfilled by
accepting a hundred stroke hairbrush spanking to release the earth bound
spirit. I still gave the heroine a long, hard spanking. However, since an
actual story surrounds it, other people want to read about it.
THE
HOW
The Russians have a saying, “Repetition is
the mother of learning.” As an editor, I have a saying, “Repetition is the
mother of a rewrite.” This is particularly true when writing a CP story because
the author is targeting a niche market that is generally very familiar with the
subject matter. Accordingly, a mere spanking will not suffice. The author needs
to think rubrication.
There are only so many times in a work
that one can describe a “red" or “redder" or “reddened" backside
before a reader dozes off. Naughty cheeks can “pinken" before they
“redden". A palm print may be white immediately following impact, but will
gradually turn pink, then cherry. A well smacked bottom may be red the first
time it is described, but the next time it should be crimson, or vermillion, or
rubescent or rubicund. The penitent’s well punished puppies can be
glowing, hot, burning, searing. blazing or fiery. The clenched orbs may be
bruised, contused, marked, lined, or welted. Similarly, there is more than one
way to depict an errant bottom, backside, arse, ass, or derriere. Blows need
not fall squarely on one cheek or the other, but may fall on either side of the
gluteal cleft, or just below the well defined sulcus. By varying the
descriptions, the author will keep the reader’s rapt attention.
Longer scenes can be problematic. “Whack.
Ow. Whack. Ow. Whack. Ow!" will bore a reader. Merely alternating periods
and exclamation marks won’t cut it. Sounds effects may play an integral role in
the scene, but these too must vary. A brisk whack may follow a firm smack.
Changing the viewing angle and using indirect action can also extend a scene
without diminishing its intensity. “Tears welled in her eyes over the next half
dozen vicious cracks. A particularly nasty cut finally caused them to roll
shamelessly down her cheeks.” In this example, the woman received seven hard
strokes without a single “Whack. Ow.”
EXEMPLI
GRATIA
INDIRECT ACTION
THE SOLE OF THE
MATTER
“Look, Mr. Osbourne, her parents are
threatening to sue the Academy. But all they really want is an apology from
you.”
“Well, damn their apology! My actions were
fully in accordance with the Student Disciplinary Code, Article Six, Section F
which states that a third reportable incident in any quarter may result, in
the sole discretion of the instructor, in the administration of corporal
punishment including up to six strokes with a sole.
“I gave Tamara every opportunity to come
into compliance before exercising my discretion, and administering exactly six strokes
with a sole.”
“Yes, her parents understand that the rule
states that you may administer up to six strokes with a sole, but, dammit man,
you’re the golf coach!”
In this example, the entire CP scene
occurs off stage. However, the reader understands that Tamara received a harsh
punishment.
Using adjectives
other than “red”
From “The Reliquary”
by Ken Charles
She screams at the
first crack. After several seconds, a ruby "Miƒerere" appears
highlighted in a pink bar across both cheeks. A second loud whack leaves a
fiery offset mirror image a centimeter below the first. By the time the sixth
angry "Miƒerere" rises, she has learned at least one lesson.
THE
WHEREFORE
As I learned with “The Walnut
Hairbrush", there is more to a good CP story than just CP. Be creative. Vary the motives, the
settings, and the descriptions of the acts. Use a palm in one scene, and a
martinet in the next. It’s acceptable to deliver a simple straight forward whack
or two once or twice. But sometimes it’s better for a bellicose backhand
barrage to bruise the beleaguered backside of a blubbering belladonna. If the
author treats the CP story with respect, then the readers will come back
clamoring for more.
Thanks for letting me
ramble.
Copyright Ken Charles
2012
